So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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