I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
