fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
