Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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