I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
