So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
