remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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