Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
