waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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