I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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