I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
