After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
