Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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