What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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