everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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