me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
