do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
