I'm jealous of your bromance
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
