Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
