ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
