i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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