Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want to fling myself into the sun
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
