i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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