its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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