covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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