he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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