i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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