Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
