Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
