I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
