she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
