roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
tell me about the eggs
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
