I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
