Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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