I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
