he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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