You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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