apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize