Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
