is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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