I wanna bring you to show and tell
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
