I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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