where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
