maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Alive.
So much puke
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just want nice things and good sex
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
