where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
