Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
