..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
