she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
