Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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