I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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