walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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