I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
