He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
