i think i have two assholes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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