those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
