I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
