i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize