i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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