I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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