brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
